Holy Jesus!
by Lady Cassandra
Summary: When Kami places his baby in Videl, she's delighted. "It's such an honor!" Not so for Gohan. He does NOT want that baby, and he'll do anything to get rid of it... *Chapter 4 uploaded!*
1. The Adventure Begins

Videl was flying home from one of her frequent shopping trips, skimming lightly over the ground. Gohan had told her to be careful and fly over water since she wasn't a full-fledged flyer yet ("Anything could happen!" he had said), but who could resist knocking some snow off one of the numerous mountains on the way back? Not Videl.  
  
As it turns out, she should have heeded Gohan's warning. One minute she was fine, speeding along nicely, doing turns and flips with ease. The next she was sent crashing to the ground by a shocking wave of pain.  
  
Her first thought, *Damn. I hit a power line again. WHY don't I watch where I'm going?!*  
  
Her second thought, *Wait a second...I'm in the middle of nowhere. There aren't any power lines out here...*  
  
As soon as she had come to her brilliant conclusion another slash shot up her spine and down into her stomach. A scream tore from her throat as she curled up, making herself as small as she could. Her only hope was that Gohan would somehow know she was in trouble. He'd done it before, why not now? She steeled herself against the pain and tried as hard as she could to form an image of Gohan inside of her mind.  
  
*Please Gohan....Help me.....* 


	2. Apoligies And Explanations

I'm very sorry if I've offended anyone with this story. I never meant to do so, and I believe I gave warning enough to anyone who read this. I would like to post each of your reviews and answer your questions in this chapter.  
  
**********************************************************************************  
Mrs. Videl Son wrote: okay, Videl?...Shopping? A little OOC everyonce in a while is okay, but that's unforgivable!  
I respond: I'm sorry I didn't specify, but this story takes place after Gohan and Videl get together. She was GROCERY shopping, not like the mall kind. I was trying to create a situation in which she'd be away from Gohan, and this seemed to be it. Sayains eat a lot, right? Again, I'm sorry if this threw you off of my story.  
**********************************************************************************  
bubbles wrote: I just finished reading your summary was offensive to me!I my self am I christian and I like dragonball z but you don't mix fantasy about my God and My savior!!!What your are trying to do is play out the birth of Jesus in DBZ and that's just wrong. Like I said I like Dragonball Z But I don't mix it with Christianity. My God and My Jesus will not be taken place of by some stupid cartoon character. I hope you realize that I'm trying not to be mean but I find this very offensive!  
I respond: Like I said, I didn't mean this to be offensive to ANYONE. Honest, I didn't. I thought that if there were stories about Goku and ChiChi being angels, than it was certainly alright to place Gohan and Videl in this kind of situation. I respect your opinion, but you must admit, I do have freedom of speech. I can write anything I want to, when I want to, about whomever I want to. I agree, no cartoon character will ever take the place of God or Jesus, but this is not what I meant to say in this story. I am a Christian myself, but that doesn't mean I obsess over it. I don't mean to sound rude, but you do not have to read my story if the topic offends you. Please accept my apology, but I am standing firm. I will not take down my story, nor will I bash your head in because you gave me your honest opinion. I think it was very rightous of you to voice yourself, but I must ask you not to be so uptight. It is, after all, just a story. No harm has ever come from a story. Please do not continue to read if you will not review my story on a neutral religious basis.  
**********************************************************************************  
??? wrote: write more chapters please  
I respond: Thank you so much for being kind. I will certainly post more chapters A.S.A.P. You can count on it!  
**********************************************************************************  
GRRRRRRRRRRRR@You wrote: I agree with both Bubbles and Mrs. Videl Son...... It's sick when you are so obsessed with DBZ that you would start having fantisies about Christ being born from a chartoon character. Like Mrs. Son said......Videl a frequent shopper???? SINCE WHEN????? HELLOOOOOOOOOOO V is NOT a girly girl!!! DON'T RUIN HER REP! Please take your satanic misleading and WRONG story off before some kid comes and reads this and starts getting bad ideas about their religion.  
I respond: I think you're taking this a little too far. I am not "sick" nor do I "have fantasies about Christ and cartoon characters" just because I decide to post an original story. This idea just came to me one day when I was thinking about new stories and looking at my bookshelf which, might I add, has two copies of the bible on it. I am sorry if this offended you or anyone who has read it.   
As I said in my response to Mrs. Videl Son's review, Videl was GROCERY shopping for herself and Gohan. I don't think going down to the local supermarket automatically makes one a "girly girl" as you so elegantly put it. I like Videl the way she is as much as you do. Please don't misjudge other people as quickly as you have misjudged me.  
I do not in any way, shape, or form think my story is "satanic". I am a Christian and I believe in Christ, but I think this story is perfectly legitimate. I see nothing wrong with making a story like this when dozens have already been made about DBZ characters being the devil, or angels. Please take your flames elsewhere, as I have no need for comments from a brainless idiot. Perhaps I could give you a list of the other stories with cartoon characters bring angels, or the devil, or even God Himself so you could go and trashily review those, but I assure you it would not be a short list. Please forgive my rudeness, but I do not stand for unjustified comments such as yours.  
**********************************************************************************  
In conclusion, I WILL continue my story. I do, however, respect public opinion (when it is given kindly). If you, dear reader, so truely find my story offensive, I will take it down. Let me remind you, though, that it is a mere STORY, and you should treat it as such. I do not believe this truely happened, nor do I expect you to. that is why this site is FanFICTION. net. Fiction is not real. Please remember that.  
I am truely hurt by your scathing comments. That is for sure. But I will NOT be bullied.   
Please review.  
Fanfictionally Yours,  
Lady C. 


	3. And When You Get That Feelin'

Ugh, I am SUCH an idiot. (No comment please, GRRRRR@You. ^_^) I post THE single most controversial story I have ever written and get THE most reviews I have ever gotten at one time, and I don't post the second chapter for forever! All I can say (digging into my bag of wonderful excuses for ticked off but hopeful reviewers) is that I have been very busy. No, my grandmother didn't die, and I wasn't stricken by an uncureable illness, I've just been busy.   
  
That sounds SO pathetic. o.O  
  
Anyway, I'm gonna make up for it by posting extra-fast for the next rest-of-forever, o.k? Don't kill me yet...  
  
I know you're all getting tired of this (^_^) but I'm gonna reply to my reviewers again. WAIT! Before you scream and run for the hills, I just want to say one thing to one person. The rest of you can just read the new chapter if you want.... It starts where the line of stars ends.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
To GRRR@You: I guess I picture the mall when I hear the word 'shop' too, maybe it's just a girly reflex. ^_^ Not calling you girly or anything, but we've all got it. Sorry for not specifying, but you have to admit. You could have been a little nicer.... I called you a (quote unquote) 'brainless idiot' because you had the nerve to bash my head in for writing a piece of fiction that I had no problem with. I thought others would find it as amusing as I did.  
  
So sue me.  
  
I happen to know people who can hack as well, and they have been excellent teachers. I probably know more than all of your friends put together, no offence meant. I also have my bio, stories, and reviews on a backup disk, so do not 'warn' me about something that I can fix with a snap of my fingers. Just a 'warning.' As you said yourself, a warning is harmless, no?  
  
I have a problem with Britney Spears myself, and I have seen too many 14 year old girls with thongs hanging out of their so-low-it-should-be-illegal hiphuggers to not agree with you on the fact that she is a very bad influence. I agree with you completely on this.  
  
Nothing is wrong with the term 'girly girl.' I simply did not like the way you used it.   
  
I also think Maria S. had a very good point about maybe changing the title, but it amuses me way too much. The title stays. Maybe I will change God to the Earth's Guardian, I'll have to think about that one...  
  
Overall, I don't think either of us had a very good first (or second, or third....^_^) impression of each other. Let's start over, and try to be a bit more civil, o.k?  
  
***********************************************************************  
To all my wonderful reviewers (and even to the not-so-good ones ^_^): Thank you. I really, contrary to popular belief, enjoy reading your views. Try to boost my confidence, k? I don't think I've got so much anymore...:9 Also, this will NOT go along with the DBZ storyline, o.k? This will be after Majin Buu was defeated, and I will have Goku staying at home with Gohan and Goten and ChiChi. I don't know how the series ends, but this is how I WANT it to end, got it?! ^_^  
  
Disclaimer: Nothing but the plot belongs to me. The characters don't, and neither do the places I talk about.   
  
(I forgot this is the last chapter! DON'T SUE!! Actually, I don't have much. Only a few leftover Cheez-its (Yum. ^_^) and my computer. I WON'T LET YOU HAVE MY BETSY!! Umm,, Betsy is my computer, not my Cheez-its. I LOVE HER!! Take my squares of cheezy goodness, but not my Betsy!!)   
  
  
Holy Jesus!  
Chapter 3  
  
"Look out Gohan!"  
  
Goten winced from the sidelines as his beloved brother took another hit from his equally beloved Dad. Something didn't seem right with Gohan today... Luckily for Gohan, who wasn't doing too well in the practice sparring match, Goku seemed to notice it too.  
  
"Oi, Gohan, you alright?"  
  
The half-sayajin in question took this opportunity to smash his Dad into the ground with a particularly vicious blow to the head and stagger over to his baby brother for a drink of his Mom's famous lemonade. "Yeah Dad, I'm fine. I just feel wierd, is all..."  
  
Goku grunted from his position in the dirt.   
  
"Oh yeah..," Gohan laughed nervously, his hand behind his head, "Sorry 'bout that..."  
  
His only answer was another grunt as Goku tried to remove the rock embedded in his solar plexus.   
  
"Hey Gohan?" Goten asked.  
  
Gohan ran a hand playfully through his sibling's already tousled hair before responding, earning an annoyed growl from his victim. "Yeah squirt?"   
  
"Why hasn't Videl come over yet? She said she was gonna, but that was a while ago. D'ya think something happened to her?"  
  
After getting over his original blush attack at the mention of Videl's name, he managed to answer Goten's question. "Boy, I sure hope not. Although, now that you mention it, I do have a bad feeling about her."  
  
Goku shot up from his previous sitting position. "A feeling? You know what I told you about Sayaijn feelings Gohan... We don't get 'em for nothing."  
  
"Yeah Dad, maybe you're right. Should I check on her?"  
  
"Yes Gohan, I really think you should. I'll tell your mother where you are. She'll understand. In fact," He said with an evil glimmer in his eyes, "I think she'll be delighted when I tell her you went to check on your girlfriend..."  
  
Gohan blushed from head to toe. "Daaaaddddd!" He whined, embarassed at his father's knowing smirk, "You wouldn't!"  
  
"Oh yes I would! Come on Goten, I need to tell ChiChi something." He flew off towards home, laughing all the way. Goten followed behind him after reassuring his brother that he wouldn't let their Dad say TOO much, which wasn't very reassuring after all.   
  
Gohan considered giving chase, but a voice inside his head stopped that train of thought in its tracks. It wasn't the I-am-your-long-lost-concience kind, either. In fact, it kind of sounded like....  
  
Videl?!  
  
*Please Gohan....Help me.....*  
  
He growled at the pain and fear that laced through her voice and sped off, pinpointing her distinct ki along the way.  
  
"I'm coming Videl. Just hold on..." 


	4. Namekians Loooove Their Chocolate

Disclaimer: See Chapter 3. I am NOT going to write another disclaimer. So there. :p Oh, but Piccolo's chocolate cravings and his bank robber impression are entirely from the waste can of my own imagination. Don't worry, it'll make sense later. I'm planning to make that another side story....  
  
Thanks so much for all of the reviews. I figure if I post more chapters this story'll make a heckuva lot more sense, so I'm gonna post 'em fast & furious for the next week or so, until I start getting death threats...^_^  
  
One thing: This story has NOTHING to do with Jesus or the Christian God. I wasn't even going to name Videl's baby at ALL, none the less name is Jesus or something. Weeelll, unless you really want her to have the baby.... But, on second thought, that would be kinda wierd. I just made the title 'Holy Jesus!' because it SO amused me. It's like Christina said in her review... Videl SATAN? (That makes me laugh. Ha ha. ^_^) Holy Jesus is just another spin-on-words I invent in my spare time 'cause I have absolutely no life. But don't we all? ^_^ Until you find me a life that I enjoy, the title stays, 'cause I need some amusement in my oh-so-dull ummm......non-life.   
  
Hope that satisfies you!   
  
All my love + huggles,  
Lady C.  
  
(P.S- This chapter will be WAY longer. My computer has a way of making me think I write more than I really do. Dumb wordpad..... This one's for you, Ponytail Goddess! Oh, and everyone send a big get-well-soon to my former enemy GRRRR@unomo (formally grrrrrrrr@you). She's sick! Hope you get better soon...... Is it serious?)   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Holy Jesus!  
Chapter 4  
  
Goku may have seemed oblivious to his eldest son's troubles, but in reality he was worried sick. He had felt a slight burst of power earlier, and he hadn't been able to tell if 'it' was good or evil. He could only hope Videl was alright. Her and Gohan did look quite nice together, he had to admit. And, come to think of it, Gohan was acting very strange around her. It almost reminded him of.... Himself. ChiChi had made him act like that. He smirked at the thought of his studious son in love. *I guess anything can happen these days..*  
  
That thought reminded him to check on ChiChi again. He had been searching for her ki periodically and opening their bond extra-wide ever since he had felt 'it', and nothing had gone wrong yet. Still, it couldn't hurt to check. Where was she? Ahhh... there she is.   
  
Nothing wrong now, only a small flare once in a while. *Maybe she's training! That would be so cool...* He loved his wife, but she couldn't seem to keep her head out of trouble for two seconds. What was worse, she always thought she could protect herself. He loved it when she needed him, because it made him feel useful, but those times were few and far between. Perhaps he could get Piccolo to disguise himself and kidnap her! That HAD worked before, believe it or not. The memory of the proud Namekian dressed up like a common human bank robber was just too much... Luckily for Goku, Piccolo had a weakness for chocolate. A very LARGE weakness.  
  
Hmmm, time to check on Chi again. He knew he was going totally overboard, but he just wanted to make sure. He couldn't lose her again, not when things were finally going right. Not now....  
  
"Dad?"   
  
He snapped out of his thoughts to give his youngest a very Vegeta-like glare. "Yeah Goten?"  
  
Goku's death glare had no effect on the innocent little sayaijn, as he was turned around at the moment, flying backwards. *I thought I told him not to do that....*  
  
"What d'ya think happened to Videl?"  
  
The strongest fighter in the universe sighed and slowed down a bit. He wasn't expecting this. Maybe Goten had felt 'it' too.... Nah. He would've told his father anything. Goku bit back a proud smile at that thought, and decided to answer take the easy way out. "I bet she just got held up, that's all. Nothing happened to her. I'm sure of it." *I hate lying, I hate lying, I hate lying, I hate lying...*  
  
"Promise?"  
  
The sight of those shining eyes was almost too much to bear.  
  
Almost.   
  
He released another one of his frequent sighs before he answered.   
  
"Sure Goten. I promise."   
  
If only he knew what was going on! *Hurry Gohan. This may be more serious than I thought...*  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Ugh! I know I said it was going to be exxxxtttttttrrrrraaaaa llllllloooooonnnnnggggg, but I needed to finish up Goku's POV. FORGIVE ME!!! The next one will be longer, I swear. I am just having some serious keyboard problems (my left hand shift key, the one I use the most, is so totally broken) and my entire e-mail account just changed from English to CHINESE!!! Chinese makes my head spin...o.O Reviews please, even though I don't deserve them!!! 


End file.
